


Flicker

by caffeinatednightowl



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Angst, Casual Sex, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27059236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatednightowl/pseuds/caffeinatednightowl
Summary: Thancred seeks comfort to hide his true feelings
Relationships: Hilda Ware/Thancred Waters, Minfilia Warde/Thancred Waters
Kudos: 1





	Flicker

**Author's Note:**

> Short drabble brought over from my Tumblr.

Dim amber candlelight flickered off the walls, the lone flame in the darkness. Outside, the snow piled up in the Brume, the urchins and wretches hunkered down in their hovels against the chill Ishgardian night. But inside, in a small room above the Forgotten Knight, the air was warm and comforting.

Comfort, that’s all this was; both Thancred and Hilda knew it. Relaxation, release, whatever you wanted to call it. It was just for fun, making love but without actual love. “You need to have some fun,” Hilda had said, with a twinkle in her eye and a beckoning finger. Perhaps years ago, Thancred would’ve flirted back, would’ve taken the lead, would’ve found a way into her willing bed much sooner than he had. 

But those days were long gone.

Now life was just going through the motions, fulfilling his duty. There was no time for fun or joy. He used to pride himself on his skill as a lover; would cherish every moment. Now, Thancred felt nothing more than bodily pleasure as Hilda sighed, moaned, her fingernails digging trenches in his back. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the candle on the mantle glow. His profession had always walked with the shadows, prospered in darkness. And now he hardly ever saw the light of day. The Scions of the Seventh Dawn worked to keep the sun high over Eorzea, but he served her alone, in the dark of night. 

It was best that way; it had been his failures that had gotten them to this state, after all. 

He was the reason Minfilia’s father was killed by that gobbue so long ago. His failure to anticipate Lahabrea led to him being bodysnatched. Failing to see the danger in the Crystal Braves nearly killed everyone and caused the Warrior of Light herself to be accused of murder. 

And, worst of all, it was his failure to protect Minfilia caused her to disappear from the realm forever. 

Thancred had promised himself, promised _her_ that day so many years ago, that he’d protect her with his life. But he failed. He had to learn to live with it, as he said. But he’d be a liar if he didn’t admit that one failure haunted him night and day.

He could see her face now, so determined, so set on her path, as she committed herself to leaving Eorzea forever. Leaving _him_ forever. They had been good friends--no, perhaps more--she had been like a sister to him--no, perhaps more...

Perhaps...

He didn’t know. Maybe he’d never know. In time, her face would fade from his memories, her voice would fade, and he’d be left with nothing more than his guilt.

The crushing, tear-inducing, breath-stopping guilt. 

If only he had known...if only he had tried...reacted quicker, knew better...if only...if only...

But regrets were for a new day, a new dawn. Shutting his eyes tight and gasping at the internal pain, the external pleasure, Thancred put it out of his mind, losing himself in the touch of a woman. Hilda was fun, Hilda was enough, for an hour, or more, he could drink, he could make love, he could forget. 

The candle saw all, but it would be blown out before long...when the pleasure was gone and the time came to shield himself from the world once again. 


End file.
